Keepsakes

Keepsakes

     She loved her keepsakes. With every memory she had something she could hold and recall it right then. . . it was a superpower, really. Plenty of good memories; some bad, some sad, but all ours. . .

-The Teddy Bear-

     “I remember the look on your face when you saw me walk in the bar holding this teddy bear on our first date. I think your eyes were still rolling when I kissed your cheek. You warmed up to em’ when I told you he was my AA Sponsor. I fell in love with you as soon as I heard you laugh at that dumb joke. You can tell a lot about a person based on their laugh; your laugh melted me every time I heard it. I was surprised it was on top of the pile in the box. Almost like you held it often.”

     She is smiling slightly. That’s one of my favorite memories, too. . .

-The Book-

     Let me see. Oh, yea. . . Innocence by Dean Koontz. I know she’ll respond to this one.

     “Remember when I bought this for you? You told me you’re not into Horror authors and all that, but I just asked you to give it a few chapters and you ended up loving it. Not all horror authors write gory stories.”

     Fuck. She kept the first flower I ever gave her to mark her favorite chapter. I have to keep it together until all of this is over. . .

     “Chapter 2 was your favorite because it was about living in solitude and it reminded you of us. Before I had you, I didn’t have anybody. Solitude was a daily thing. Being around people and working is different for me, because I can be around people and still feel alone. Never with you. At the end of a horrible day, all we needed was each other for comfort. We were alone together in this crazy world. We read this together a lot. You’d always tell me to hurry up because I was a few chapters behind you. I like to take my time and enjoy things, you know that. I read it last weekend when I was out of town and could hear you calling me slowpoke.”

     Her eyes are watering up a little. Hell, so are mine. I have to pull myself together and get through this. . .

-The Glass Angel-

     “We were on our honeymoon, got the sweet, and this glass angel kept falling off the shelf. You told me it was probably just a fluke and to put it on the table next to the bed. After an hour or so it was turned around. There was no way either of us touched that angel. I got out of bed and put the angel in the bathroom, and by the time I got back to you we heard it fall on the rug that’s in front of the sink. That lead us to talk about religion even though we’re not religious at all and what we wanted done with our bodies after we died. You wanted to be cremated and spread at our favorite spot, I want to be buried. I always liked to think that someone could hold my skull 1,000 years from now and wonder who this was . . . but I’d rather be with you at our spot. All the years after the glass angel, we never had anything like that happen to us again.”

-The Wisdom Teeth-

     Last one. She always talked about this experience. I think she kept these to remind herself that things work out even if you fear the worst. . .

     “You begged for them not to put you under when they took your wisdom teeth out. They had no choice since you reacted badly to the numbing solution they used on your root canal the year before. I think when they fixed that tooth, it fucked with your impacted wisdom teeth. I would sit up with you at night and hold you as you cried with pain. They needed to be taken out. Oral surgery was something you never been through before. I had 3 taken out and assured you that it wouldn’t take long at all, that I would be there holding your hand when you came back from La La Land. The night before we went you told me if something bad ever happened that lead to you being brain dead to just pull the plug. I agreed with you and told you to dip me in some ranch if I ever became a vegetable. Even in all that pain you laughed at my shit humor, and it still melted me like the first time I heard it. . .”

-The Hard Truth-

     “Have you decided yet?” A voice softly asks.

     “Decide? How can anyone decide what to do in this situation?” Wayne snaps back.

     “It’s been almost 3 years, Wayne. The doctors can’t bring her back.”

     “You know, she always worried about being put under. The doctors say she’s not brain dead. After the crash they put her in a temporary coma to stop the brain swelling. . .”

     “Listen, I know this is hard. I been here the whole time hoping she would come back, but she isn’t responding.” The nurse says.

     “It’s not like she’s gone. I see her smile when I talk. Tears form in her eyes when she gets emotional. I know she is still there; she’s just lost.” Wayne says as he walks closer to Sadie.

     “Those are just her nerves firing as her brain is being starved from the proper amount of oxygen it needs. She is barely hanging on, Wayne. I wouldn’t say this to you if I didn’t feel close to you two. 3 Years is a long time to hold onto straws that might not be there.”

     Wayne holds Sadie’s hand and kisses her forehead. “You are my keepsake. You’re all I needed and I won’t know what to do without you. If you’re still here, baby, squeeze my hand.” I need you to hold on for me. . .

    Sadie’s eyes are moving rapidly under her eyelids as her fingers start to tremble.

    There you are.

The End

    

Lucid

Lucid

     I never came across this before. I study sleep; so you would figure I know everything there is to know about the unconscious mind, but you’d be wrong. Before I say what I want, I’ll let you read patient 1017392’s note. . .

     Do they think I am crazy now? I have no doubt that you’re reading this, Dr. Peterson. Dreams are our way to connecting to other dimensions. 50% of people had at least one lucid dream in their life, but you need to be a lucid dreamer and practice tearing the fabric of the 3^rd dimension to enter others. There are 10 dimensions in total, but humans can only reach the 9^th on their own. You have to be born in the 10^th to stay there. The Pure Ones, the 10^th dimension beings, can travel to any dimension they want and change form as they see fit. Aliens, ghosts, Bigfoot, the man under your bed, etc., all Pure Ones visiting us. The only way a human can reach the 10^th and stay and be a Pure One, you need a guide and be transformed. I found my guide and she is taking me tonight. I won’t be able to come back to this dimension with this body after that, which is why I’m leaving this note behind. You told me before you can lucid dream. Do it more, find a Pure One that can take you on, if you have the will and knowledge to see it through. I know you want out. Set yourself free. Maybe we’ll cross paths someday. . .

See you on the other side,

Crazy Kenny

     That was it. He was gone when I went to check on him in the morning. Nothing but the note left on his bed. All the wires I had hooked up to him were on the pillow. My nurses came in and asked if I let him go, I told them to go check the hospital. I sat on the empty, cold bed reading his brief note, wondering if it was real. There was no way out of that room. None! I spent months looking through papers, talking to the police if they found him or not… nothing; He was just gone. I didn’t tell anybody about that note. I didn’t want anyone thinking I had something to do with his disappearance,

     I spent time lucid dreaming on the weekends. I couldn’t function at work the next day after I had one. I could change the whole world and make everything I wanted. I got so good, I could even fly and take on forms of animals. On my vacation, that’s all I did was sleep. Lucid dreaming almost 20 hours a day. The first time I broke through the 4^th dimension, I couldn’t even comprehend what I was feeling and seeing.

     It took me months before running into a Pure One. She was just perfect in every way. Even the scars she had were perfect. Perfectly flawed. She taught me to go deeper into dimensions and just feel the worlds instead of making things happen like I used to do in the 4^th.

     “You can’t force your will on everything like you could in lesser worlds, you have to influence them in these higher worlds. Feel harder.” She would say.

     I felt more than I ever could. I felt more than anybody ever could imagine, and it was lost on me. I was lost for years before I could get close enough to her again. She couldn’t leave the 9^th dimension, so I had to go to her. Years of feeling nothing, but easily making worlds as stepping stones to get to the 9^th, just to feel. Tonight I’m reaching the 9^th where she is going to take me and transform me to make me what I truly am. What I’ve been feeling my whole life. Empty parts of you can be filled, if you are where you belong. . . I belong in the 10^th dimension with the rest. With this last lucid dream I’ll be gone. I hope to see you on the other side if you feel empty. You’ll be whole again,

With love,

A broken soul

Sad Eyes

Sad Eyes

     Sitting on a bench, in the pouring rain, with the last thing my ex gave me, saving my ass from getting soaking wet. I never thought I would even use this umbrella. I didn’t even know I kept it in the car. I can’t believe I found it in the back seat while I was looking for an old work sweater. Why an umbrella? Oh, yea… because she was leaving me out in the cold.

     “Sir?” A voice says.

     Wow. Why would anybody be out in this shit besides my crazy ass? She’s beautiful. Too beautiful to be out in the cold rain after dark, on a long trail, next to a raging river…

     “Everything okay, ma’am?”

     “Besides getting stuck in this rain, yea. Would it be okay if I sit next to you until the rain lets up a bit?” She asks.

     I wonder if she is a runner. Runners run any hour of the day. Some get a run in at 4 am before they go to work. Very dedicated people, runners are.

     “Sure thing.”

     “This rain came out of nowhere!” She says.

     She can’t be a runner. Looks more like a business woman. Can’t run in heals, unless you have to.

     “What made you comfortable enough to sit next to a stranger, in the rain, dark, and with no one in sight?” Wish I said that differently. She’ll probably get up and leave now.

     “Because you have sad eyes.”

     “I suppose I do. I can’t seem to hold on to my happy eyes.” She lit up and laughed at that. Maybe she is having a bad night, too? Late night walk to clear her mind?

     “Sad and funny… works for you.” She says with a smile on her face.

     Well, staying completely dry is out of the question now. My right side is getting rained on. “You always take strolls out in the rain?”

     “I needed some fresh air. Being in a boring office all day with a boss that smokes in a non-smoking building, I needed to clear my mind and collect myself.”

     Called it.

     “How about you? You always sit on a bench in the pouring rain by yourself?” She asks.

     “Same boat as you… besides the whole office thing. I just needed to clear my head, and thanks to my ex (fuck, why did I mention my ex) I have this fabulous (really? Fabulous?) umbrella.

     “Lucky you. My ex never left me a handy umbrella to save me. Since we’re engaging in conversation, and I’m close enough to smell your fruity shampoo, what’s your name? And are you a killer?” She asks with a shoulder bump.

     Hmmm. I wonder if she wants my full name. Why would a full name be needed to engage in such small talk?

     My name is Wayne.

     “Oh, wow! I never met a Wayne before. Such a strong name.  Your first name Bruce?” She asks.

     Do not say, “I’m Batman.” “Wayne Amatucci.”

     “Greek?”

     “Italian. Amatucci means, beloved; which lately, I am not.”

     “I’m sure you are by somebody. I am Sadie Michelle. Glad to meet you.”

     She looked away after saying that. I wonder why. . . The rain is coming down more than ever; that’s probably it.

     “What are you trying to clear from your mind? Honestly.” Sadie asks.

     Honestly? The kind of honesty I don’t even tell myself. Somethings I just want to forget. . .

     “Wayne… I lose ya?”

     “You ever put yourself into something 100%, and it didn’t work out… not even one bit?”

     “Yea.”

     “Did you ever want to take back something someone took from you that you didn’t care who you hurt to get it back?”

     “I think everybody feels like that at some point, but most just move on and cut their losses. I know I did. What happened, Wayne?”

     This fucking rain is coming in sideways and I’m catching most of it. At least she is on the dry side of this bench. No way am I telling her I beat this guy’s ass to the point he ended up in a coma. He deserved every bit of that ass whippin’; just no one else feels the same about it.

     “This guy broke in my house one night while I was arguing with my ex over something silly. He didn’t know we were upstairs when he tripped over something in the kitchen. I ran downstairs, started fighting with him, my ex tried to help, but she just ended up getting pushed down by him. He ran out the front door. I grabbed a baseball bat I kept by the front door and threw it at the back of his head while he ran across my front yard.”

     “Did you get him?”

     “Yea, and some. I went back in to check on her and she was bleeding…”

     “She hit her head on something?”

     “No, she was 4 months pregnant at that time. She called 911 and I went outside to finish this guy off until the cops pulled up.” Fuck… I wish I didn’t say that last bit. What’s the odds of that coming back to get me. I know he made it and is still alive, but he’s trying to sue me?! Him breaking into MY fucking house?! Fucking up my life, but sue me? What a fucking world. . .

     “Oh my God.” Sadie says softly as she stands up.

     Shit. I got caught up in my thoughts. I hope that’s a pack of cigarettes she’s reaching for in her purse.

     “You seem like a great guy, but bad things always follow you. I can’t believe I am still going to do this, I have no choice. You have been served. Whatever is in that envelope will be sorted out. You were protecting your ex and your house. I wish we had a chance to meet under different circumstances.” Sadie said as she walks away. . .

     A gust of wind collapses Wayne’s umbrella.

     . . . When it rains, it pours.

The End