Saturday, September 1, 2018

Lucid








Lucid



     I never came across this before. I study sleep; so you would figure I know everything there is to know about the unconscious mind, but you’d be wrong. Before I say what I want, I’ll let you read patient 1017392’s note. . .

     Do they think I am crazy now? I have no doubt that you’re reading this, Dr. Peterson. Dreams are our way to connecting to other dimensions. 50% of people had at least one lucid dream in their life, but you need to be a lucid dreamer and practice tearing the fabric of the 3rd dimension to enter others. There are 10 dimensions in total, but humans can only reach the 9th on their own. You have to be born in the 10th to stay there. The Pure Ones, the 10th dimension beings, can travel to any dimension they want and change form as they see fit. Aliens, ghosts, Bigfoot, the man under your bed, etc., all Pure Ones visiting us. The only way a human can reach the 10th and stay and be a Pure One, you need a guide and be transformed. I found my guide and she is taking me tonight. I won’t be able to come back to this dimension with this body after that, which is why I’m leaving this note behind. You told me before you can lucid dream. Do it more, find a Pure One that can take you on, if you have the will and knowledge to see it through. I know you want out. Set yourself free. Maybe we’ll cross paths someday. . .
See you on the other side,
Crazy Kenny

     That was it. He was gone when I went to check on him in the morning. Nothing but the note left on his bed. All the wires I had hooked up to him were on the pillow. My nurses came in and asked if I let him go, I told them to go check the hospital. I sat on the empty, cold bed reading his brief note, wondering if it was real. There was no way out of that room. None! I spent months looking through papers, talking to the police if they found him or not… nothing; He was just gone. I didn’t tell anybody about that note. I didn’t want anyone thinking I had something to do with his disappearance,
     I spent time lucid dreaming on the weekends. I couldn’t function at work the next day after I had one. I could change the whole world and make everything I wanted. I got so good, I could even fly and take on forms of animals. On my vacation, that’s all I did was sleep. Lucid dreaming almost 20 hours a day. The first time I broke through the 4th dimension, I couldn’t even comprehend what I was feeling and seeing.
     It took me months before running into a Pure One. She was just perfect in every way. Even the scars she had were perfect. Perfectly flawed. She taught me to go deeper into dimensions and just feel the worlds instead of making things happen like I used to do in the 4th.
     “You can’t force your will on everything like you could in lesser worlds, you have to influence them in these higher worlds. Feel harder.” She would say.
     I felt more than I ever could. I felt more than anybody ever could imagine, and it was lost on me. I was lost for years before I could get close enough to her again. She couldn’t leave the 9th dimension, so I had to go to her. Years of feeling nothing, but easily making worlds as stepping stones to get to the 9th, just to feel. Tonight I’m reaching the 9th where she is going to take me and transform me to make me what I truly am. What I’ve been feeling my whole life. Empty parts of you can be filled, if you are where you belong. . . I belong in the 10th dimension with the rest. With this last lucid dream I’ll be gone. I hope to see you on the other side if you feel empty. You’ll be whole again,
With love,
A broken soul

Friday, April 13, 2018

Sad Eyes







Sad Eyes



     Sitting on a bench, in the pouring rain, with the last thing my ex gave me, saving my ass from getting soaking wet. I never thought I would even use this umbrella. I didn’t even know I kept it in the car. I can’t believe I found it in the back seat while I was looking for an old work sweater. Why an umbrella? Oh, yea… because she was leaving me out in the cold.
     “Sir?” A voice says.
     Wow. Why would anybody be out in this shit besides my crazy ass? She’s beautiful. Too beautiful to be out in the cold rain after dark, on a long trail, next to a raging river…
     “Everything okay, ma’am?”
     “Besides getting stuck in this rain, yea. Would it be okay if I sit next to you until the rain lets up a bit?” She asks.
     I wonder if she is a runner. Runners run any hour of the day. Some get a run in at 4 am before they go to work. Very dedicated people, runners are.
     “Sure thing.”
     “This rain came out of nowhere!” She says.
     She can’t be a runner. Looks more like a business woman. Can’t run in heals, unless you have to.
     “What made you comfortable enough to sit next to a stranger, in the rain, dark, and with no one in sight?” Wish I said that differently. She’ll probably get up and leave now.
     “Because you have sad eyes.”
     “I suppose I do. I can’t seem to hold on to my happy eyes.” She lit up and laughed at that. Maybe she is having a bad night, too? Late night walk to clear her mind?
     “Sad and funny… works for you.” She says with a smile on her face.
     Well, staying completely dry is out of the question now. My right side is getting rained on. “You always take strolls out in the rain?”
     “I needed some fresh air. Being in a boring office all day with a boss that smokes in a non-smoking building, I needed to clear my mind and collect myself.”
     Called it.
     “How about you? You always sit on a bench in the pouring rain by yourself?” She asks.
     “Same boat as you… besides the whole office thing. I just needed to clear my head, and thanks to my ex (fuck, why did I mention my ex) I have this fabulous (really? Fabulous?) umbrella.
     “Lucky you. My ex never left me a handy umbrella to save me. Since we’re engaging in conversation, and I’m close enough to smell your fruity shampoo, what’s your name? And are you a killer?” She asks with a shoulder bump.
     Hmmm. I wonder if she wants my full name. Why would a full name be needed to engage in such small talk?
     My name is Wayne.
     “Oh, wow! I never met a Wayne before. Such a strong name.  Your first name Bruce?” She asks.
     Do not say, “I’m Batman.” “Wayne Amatucci.”
     “Greek?”
     “Italian. Amatucci means, beloved; which lately, I am not.”
     “I’m sure you are by somebody. I am Sadie Michelle. Glad to meet you.”
     She looked away after saying that. I wonder why. . . The rain is coming down more than ever; that’s probably it.
     “What are you trying to clear from your mind? Honestly.” Sadie asks.
     Honestly? The kind of honesty I don’t even tell myself. Somethings I just want to forget. . .
     “Wayne… I lose ya?”
     “You ever put yourself into something 100%, and it didn’t work out… not even one bit?”
     “Yea.”
     “Did you ever want to take back something someone took from you that you didn’t care who you hurt to get it back?”
     “I think everybody feels like that at some point, but most just move on and cut their losses. I know I did. What happened, Wayne?”
     This fucking rain is coming in sideways and I’m catching most of it. At least she is on the dry side of this bench. No way am I telling her I beat this guy’s ass to the point he ended up in a coma. He deserved every bit of that ass whippin’; just no one else feels the same about it.
     “This guy broke in my house one night while I was arguing with my ex over something silly. He didn’t know we were upstairs when he tripped over something in the kitchen. I ran downstairs, started fighting with him, my ex tried to help, but she just ended up getting pushed down by him. He ran out the front door. I grabbed a baseball bat I kept by the front door and threw it at the back of his head while he ran across my front yard.”
     “Did you get him?”
     “Yea, and some. I went back in to check on her and she was bleeding…”
     “She hit her head on something?”
     “No, she was 4 months pregnant at that time. She called 911 and I went outside to finish this guy off until the cops pulled up.” Fuck… I wish I didn’t say that last bit. What’s the odds of that coming back to get me. I know he made it and is still alive, but he’s trying to sue me?! Him breaking into MY fucking house?! Fucking up my life, but sue me? What a fucking world. . .
     “Oh my God.” Sadie says softly as she stands up.
     Shit. I got caught up in my thoughts. I hope that’s a pack of cigarettes she’s reaching for in her purse.
     “You seem like a great guy, but bad things always follow you. I can’t believe I am still going to do this, I have no choice. You have been served. Whatever is in that envelope will be sorted out. You were protecting your ex and your house. I wish we had a chance to meet under different circumstances.” Sadie said as she walks away. . .
     A gust of wind collapses Wayne’s umbrella.
     . . . When it rains, it pours.


The End


Sunday, January 28, 2018

The Guide









The Guide

             
     You shouldn’t be here. But since you are, let’s go for a walk. Out of everybody that comes here to visit, I never thought I would see you here. This place isn’t meant to be stayed in for long. It’s my job to keep you company until you find your way back. Who am I? Well, that’s another story on it’s own, but the short version is: I’m nobody. I don’t have a name, but people do give me a title, “The Guide.”
     Titles are a funny thing. People think they give things purpose, order. Order is something that exists by itself. Sure things happen randomly, but in that randomness, there is order to the chaos. A random car crash that kills young people before they can even taste life even has order. Maybe they didn’t see the truck that was broke down on the side of the road because the mechanic forgot to tighten the bolt on the oil pan after an oil change? Should one of them have stayed just a bit longer at the gas station trying to figure out what drink would quench their thirst best, they all might still be around.
     No, you’re not dead. You’re in nothingness with me until you are ready to get back in your own state of mind. Demons take over and your consciousness gets put here. I try to help you get back into your former self. Some Demons like to stick around longer than others. You have more than one taking over right now, so this might take a while. Damage is hard to fix, and the more time you spend here, the harder it will be when you get back in your body.
     How long have I been here? This place is me… I am uncertainty… I am the time between cause and effect… I’m here to protect you from your own Demons and thoughts of chaotic impulses. Which are coming to an end soon. Once we reach the end of this path, you’ll be back in your body and waking up. Your demons won’t be gone for good. They will be here with me until I can’t contain them anymore. Lucky for you, that doesn’t seem like it will happen much. The cuts on your wrists will heal, you’ll cover up the scars until they fade, and you will be happy; trust me.
     You visit me on the worst day of your life, but it’s the best of mine. You’re too beautiful to be in this place, and I’ll do my best to keep you from coming back, even though I enjoyed seeing you. Let go and live.

The End